The people in our lives ... the ones who choose us

We as people get to do something really wonderful in life, we get to choose the people who we have in our intimate lives, those outside our family unit. Today I was walking down Bloor listening to my IPod and looking around at everyone walking around in a rush. It was as I passed the Polo Club condo's that I began to think about friends (this is the condo building where my dear friend from Sudbury  once lived - hence the spark). I have been blessed in my life with amazing people to enter and at times to leave my life.

I have learned some fantastic things from the people who I have choosen and who have choosen me. The people in my life have shown me, love, hate , courage, and strength. I thought I would take a few lines out of my blog to share some great people with you.. names of some changed, others not.

 Johnny -  We were small under six ,  from the life before we  moved to the big city. He, I think was my first true best friend, I would have done anything for him, and we would build forts, steal vegetables and run around with out shoes.. we would snuggle under the blankets that made our tents and tell each other secrets. We also fought like mad, but he also took on the town bully who stole my bike. The last time I saw Johnny I was 16 years old.  He still brought fond memories to my mind, and we had an afternoon of great chats wondering what life would have been like had I not moved away, childish dreams and knowing that the first person you loved outside your family, still thought great things about you too. was a wonderful  experience. Johnny was the first one who taught me about friendship and he was also the one that taught me, my first true good bye as a friend. Life events changed our lives, but now years later he was one of the first people I "facebooked" but I couldn't find him.

JASPER-Alberta : One of the cool things from my childhood was my frequent flyer miles - every year from age 6 on I was flying out west to see my dad. The towns, or provinces may have changed, but the most amazing memories I have are of an old man who lived in the town of Jasper. He was the sweetest human being I had ever met. The year my dad moved to Jasper I meet this man, I will call him Frank. He seemed really old to me. I think he was around 60 years old ( I really don't know) he use to collect the bottles put out and take back to the stores for the deposit. Everyone in town would leave their beer bottles and pop shoppe bottles out for him. Well the two of us , met and I just fell in love with his voice. He told the most amazing stories. History lessons really, about building Jasper, about clearing roads, blasting the mountain. It didn't hurt that he would buy me chocolates and wait for me in my Dad's house every summer, and he wrote me a couple of letters to. He taught me about the old trains, and how the cable car was built. I use to go to the garage he lived in (A family in town let him stay in their heated garage, I didn't know it know it then but he would be considered "homeless" )  and my cousin and I would sit and listen to him for what seemed like hours. When I was 12 years old, I went back to Jasper for my step sisters wedding ( the whole town came out!) , the first thing I wanted to do was go see Frank, I learned that the entire town had gotten together and got him everything he needed to move into the town retirement community. He later passed away , well cared for by a town who loved him. He was a fantastic man, blind with one glass eye , who loved to share stories, and had soft spot for me. He was my first cross generational friend, and who likely along side my mom helped create and interest in History. - He was also my first friend, that I remembered who was not "perfect" or at least so I have been told. He is a childhood memory that I hold very dear.. he will always be my Jasper the bear.

Nathan - one of the reasons I do what I do for a living, this little boy changed my life. I meet him when I was 13 years old, and he was 4 years old. He was a  part of my life for three years before he moved away. From summer camp to weekend respite, and his transition into daycare and school. We worked together to get him to walk, to eat, to talk. He was the most wonderful child. His disability never truely slowed him down. He taught me how to think around the logical answer to the one that actually worked, he let me enter his world and that was a priveldge I will never forget.


As I have mentioned in my previous posts my primary school years where filled with on again off again friends, and school yard bullies. I have no primary school friends that come to mind as close or life altering.. not until about grade seven, when I meet my friend Billy - William, he went to the same middle school as me, however he also lived in the townhouses down the street. With him came George, Alex and Chris .. all of them a band. ..All of them adorable.. all of them two years older then me. I of course was the cute little kid who took half decent pictures..so I would hang out with "the band". I believe it was called Room 101. They were very Duran Duran , very 80's. They were fridays at Focus ( underage club) , Sundays at Bills basement telling stories. I learned the true meaning of trust with Billy, and boy-girl friendship. I had an "incident" one day on the way home from school with one of our friends ( not mentioned) and Billy was who I cried to, who I talked to - and the one who taught me that when it comes to right or wrong, a friend stands up with you against wrongs . Like I said the boys were older, and they of course headed of to highschool were the `girls`went gaga and time with the younger friends faded, but Billy was always ready for Sunday chats with me, as we ate his Baba`s perogies. We remained occasional friends for years, until one day months after I had gone to college, I knocked on the door and they were gone... a few years after collage, I did see George, talking to me from the TV.

Highschool for me would be nothing without My Swims team buddy, she was spunk, sass and everything fun and everything I needed at a difficult time in my life. She was and is someone I will never forget. You probably had a friend like her in school, at least I really hope you did. She is so much of my teenage years, that I cannot do her justice. She is still on the outskirts of my life.. she married her highschool sweetheart, they have beautiful children and a life just outside the city.. we check in once in a blue moon. Our lives just outside each others.. I read about her trimphs`with pride.. not that long ago she finished her second triatholon.  Her friendship is the one where, you develop towards the people you will become, you share thoughts dreams, first loves, first mistakes ..driving into light poles.. that kind of stuff. She knows everything there is to know about me as I left being a girl and walked towards being a woman.  I left her to go to college and she then graduated off to university.

The first job friend -- I had was blessed with some wonderful Full time job friends - friendships that evolved over eleven years.. that is how long I stayed. But a few stand out for me. My Angel as she will always be.. we are no longer friends, but I believe she came into my life to help me through one of the most difficult years of my life, when I dealt with the loss of my  first marriage, of the dream of what that meant to me and who I was until that point. There is not many people in the world who will put their life on hold and stay with you for a week as you cry your heart out. she was that friend. We grew apart, and my life changed.  She was someone who really believed that people served a purpose in everyones life, and she once said she thought that people get pebbles (like little messages) before the stone hits them. As the years have passed - it has been around 10 years since I saw her,  I have come to believe that she is likely the most emotionally wise person I have ever met. She introduced me to a different way of thinking about things, about opening my mind to different experiences - she was the first person to try and teach me yoga ( if she ever reads this I want her to know - I am not great at it, but i have mastered the tree pose!) she introduced me many great reads.. From the first job, there was also another generational friend, who taught me about so many things,who was the house "mom" of our group home. She and I would talk for hours on our overnights - she is also the reason I can make amazing perogies. I have left out many of the great people from that time, not because they did not make an impact, but because it this would never end.

From this first job, and after I left the group home front line to a different job within the same organization, I went on to have some seriously amazing life experiences. Those will be detailed in another blog at another time .. but the year I was 28 was the year I meet the friends of my adult life.. I met the swampwenches.. one of them being the darling friend from Sudbury..

the swampwenches are the girls who are there when i need them, or I will be there when they need me. We have travelled many roads, on many road trips, we have slept in mud, in crappy tents, in worse hotels. We have chased vampires ( well we thought so) and they took me to Andy Warhols museum ( a place not all wanted to go) I got married for the 2nd time in one of their backyards, they were all at the hospital at some point when my beautiful little lady was born. They are rocks. I have choosen them and they have choosen me.

After leaving the first full time job and moving on to a new and exciting new initative, I meet some other fabulous people, some who stayed for awhile, some who came ( the environmental friend)  and  some who went (where in the world are you now Nance?) . I also made a friend who would become the fashionable friend from Ireland. now  years later she is a rare gem in my treasure chest.


You see I am, a very lucky person. Each day I get to meet amazing people. I have had the same set of good friends for the last ten years. I still know my highschool BFF. All these woman and men, are still small parts of who I am.. each one adding a thought or idea, a place or just a laugh.  These are a small sampling of the ones who I choose.

Who brought laughter , love, and lessons to your life? tell me about who you choose.

Live, Laugh and Love and GIVE

The purse junkie no more