First day of a new school year... new backpacks, pencils and fear.

I was an anxious back to school child. I loved shopping with my mom as I mentioned, and I liked knowing I was going to be seeing friends (a select few) . I did however, in the pre-highschool years have fear. You see I was a "victim" of a group of primary school bullies. Girls of course, so the worse kind.

The girls that I went to school with back in the primary grades from about 4 through 8 were, little spiteful cows. Only one of them has ever had the courage to apologize for the pain they caused me during those years.(isolation, teasing, some physical from one girl, name calling and generally they were little bitches - however this did not stop me from wanting to be their friends .. WTF ?!?!?!?) The one that apologized was Susan and she did it when we were 19 and happen to be going to the same college. She and I were standing in a bus shelter and she turned and looked at me an apologized for how she treated me. This even years later made me feel slightly better about how I was treated.

By grade nine I was pretty much over them all as human beings - so when I started highschool I was much more open to the idea of making new friends , doing new things and moving on. I am not a hateful person by nature, I am generally very positive - unless stressed then I have a truckers mouth and attitude. I do however - Hate the girl who started all my pre-teenager pain - her name was Cindy.

I will take this oppourtunity to say thank you to one boy (now a grown and successful business man) Sprios M. - who made going to school a little easier, he always offered to play soccer, tried to make me come outside on recess and generally was a sweet boy ( and the popular boy) who felt bad for me. Even in to highschool, though we went into very different crowds he always said hello and smiled in the halls - and I was fortunate enough to see him 5 years ago while pregnant with my daughter - and he was just as much if not more the gentleman he was as an 11 year old boy.

School can be a challenge for some, a pleasure for other, and a place to really explore who you are going to become or not become. For that reason today I took extra time coming into work and looking at the faces of those going to college for the first time, girls checking their outfits a hundred times , and two young teenage boys holding hands heading into their school - they all looked excited and nervous all at the same time.

The fashions - may have changed (no Frankie goes to Hollywood neon shirts -spotted today ), kids have more confidence and know much more about the world then I did. But the experience that is unqiuely and only available through group learning - begins for some today - so to all the anxious moms (me included), aunts and grandma's - they will surive, as long as we listen, support and encourage. Right??

I wouldn't do school life over again if you paid me, but I will try very hard not to let my school years affect how amazing hers can be. So I am locking up the fear and crossing my fingers and wishing for happy, school years to come!

So sharpen some pencils, walk into a used bookstore and smell the air - that is the closest some of us will get to the "back" to school buzz.

Live, Love, Laugh and GIVE

The Purse Junkie no more